Why adults have extramarital affairs?
Chat about a loaded topic that no one wants to chat about, this is it. Funny thing, affairs have been going on ever since millennium. Extramarital relationships can be filled with problems, cause despair, and other harms. Also you must wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and sincerety matter, money, age difference, spiritual education, remorse, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this article I will identify an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, dating wives.
Why do married people have extramarital affairs? There are as many reasons as there are women seeking an affair. I think typically though it is just the human state, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and respected. Here are a few explanations I have run across.
Biologically we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and fun, and sex makes us flee the world for a brief period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Somebody are able to switch the desire on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another being, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the total romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos the world has erected against married dating. For many individuals the yearnings will beat their fears and make them risk the wrath of not only their family, but the public too. So why, what is the method?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is extremely good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically driven sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not hurt your spouse or anybody else? You will need to lessen the hazard you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the major cluster, gigantic truly. There are many couples whose marriage is over, except they are happy in the manner they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Also there are the children to look after. Your funds are so tangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live as a family besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that prevent them implementing the sex performance, at least not with their othere half. An marital affair from time to time solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage undamaged.
Avoidance, sorrowfully this is a frequent cause I fear. One or the other, generally the male is sexually neglecting his spouse for a multitude of reasons. As a man I really am thankful to you guys neglecting your ladies and making them available to us guys of romance, making them “milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but evil.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, could be caring is gone, could be it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Could be we have just developed apart, our ordinary interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is contradictory of what you want. Could be I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The first reason people give is, they search for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run off, for financial gain, for vengeance and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.